CHOS: Thoughts for WE 07/01/12

1. I shared my plans and ‘who I really want to be’ with an office mate. “Wow, pang long-term talaga yan!” was his comment. Actually I only realized it at the time. I don’t mind if the road is long and I won’t be making much money along the way, I just really want to do what I want to do. I’ll just work sideline jobs. Maybe a librarian at a public library? A book keeper? Or a book store cashier? Basta any office where I can read my ass off, I’d be very happy.

2. Backsliding is bad for your emotional health. Don’t backslide.

3. I think the idea of leaving is worse than the act itself. Let’s see.

4. I associate my identity with the things I do or the things that consume most of my time. I was the a devcom student, was the External Affairs Committee head, and will be the was Domain Reporting Specialist. On July 7, I’ll be… well, unemployed. It’s sucks in a way. Honestly, this resignation makes me feel like I’m losing more than a job. I’m losing my identity as well.

But this isn’t for me. I know that now. I am for a different world. And then I stopped feeling bad.

5. Honestly, I am not ready to leave yet. But who is?

6. There’s something about darkness that makes people brave. Or makes people think that they’re brave.

7. Annulment exists for a reason. Parents have their marriages annulled because they want to be out of each other’s business. That’s what I know and that’s what I understand. So please spare me with the shit. I don’t need a family that’s more broken with what I grew up with. Just stop.

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